For 4 years, Our Yorkshire Farm was probably the most standard fly-on-the-wall reveals on TV. The extraordinary drama and fantastic thing about life at Ravenseat, the distant farm excessive within the Dales run by the Owens – shepherdess Amanda, sheep farmer Clive and their 9 youngsters – caught the creativeness of hundreds of thousands.
Amanda wrote 5 books and have become a well-known face on rural TV programmes across the UK.
But, amid accusations of infidelity, fame appeared to tug the Owens’ 22-year marriage aside and, in 2022, broadcaster Channel 5 introduced the tip of the long-running present. However what actually occurred to Clive and Amanda Owen’s rural dream at Ravenseat? Right here, in their very own phrases, they reveal the reality about their relationship – and the brand new TV present they’re filming collectively, regardless of dwelling aside…
Ravenseat, the distant farm excessive within the Dales run by the Owens – shepherdess Amanda, sheep farmer Clive and their 9 youngsters – captured the creativeness of hundreds of thousands.
Amanda’s story
I met Clive 28 years in the past, once I was 21 and he was 40. Despite the fact that I grew up in an city space, I used to be captivated with rural life and it was my dream to be a shepherdess. Clive was a hill farmer, so – unlikely because it sounds — it was sheep that introduced us collectively.
We had been married in 2000 and located ourselves on a hill finish on the high of Swaledale, Yorkshire, battling the weather and nearly getting by. The farm at Ravenseat doesn’t belong to us; we’re tenant farmers making a dwelling from our sheep and cattle.
As our household grew to a sizeable brood of 9 – Raven, Reuben, Miles, Edith, Violet, Sidney, Annas, Clementine and Nancy – it turned clear that to create safety and stability for them, we would have liked to diversify.
Lengthy earlier than the tv programmes and the books, I used to be on the lookout for other ways we might earn cash.
Walkers would cross by way of the farm on the Coast to Coast path, so I arrange a bit of sideline promoting afternoon teas, and it was a type of passers-by who first floated the thought of showcasing our lives on the farm on tv. It was 2011 when the farm was first featured on ITV’s The Dales.
Regularly one alternative led to a different and shortly I used to be writing books and giving talks about life on the farm. Then, in 2018, we had our personal farming present on Channel 5 – Our Yorkshire Farm. In hindsight, perhaps I ought to have restricted what number of occasions and appearances I took on, however I used to be on a mission, decided to not let any alternatives cross me by. I used to be very centered on placing down roots for the household – on lastly proudly owning our own residence.
At talking occasions, I started each speak by stating that if it wasn’t for Clive caring for the youngsters, I wouldn’t be capable to be there. I instructed folks that to us ‘it didn’t matter who sheared the sheep’ and that ‘it was irrelevant who modified the nappies’.
However honestly, it did matter to Clive.
Possibly the era hole had a component to play, nevertheless it was laborious for him to just accept that speaking about farming might pay greater than really doing it. The extra occasions I did, the extra it irritated him.
Clive by no means appreciated me being away from the farm, and that led to arguments. I’d return house not understanding what to anticipate or what his response could be. I’d really feel the stress within the air and await the explosion.
The extra Clive shut me out or put me down, the extra I attempted to overcompensate. As a substitute of staying over at an occasion that was a five-hour drive from the farm, I’d drive again, doing the household store en route at 1am in a 24-hour Tesco, so I might present him I used to be dedicated to offering on all ranges.
The Owens on their farm. From left: Miles, Clive, Edith, Annas, Nancy, Raven, Sidney, Reuben, Violet, Clemmy and Amanda
I used to be making an attempt to be all the things to everybody, and it was exhausting.
To get away from the ambiance, I’d go to our close by vacation let – the home we had lastly been capable of purchase to safe the youngsters’s future. Throughout Covid we had no bookings and the quiet gave me an opportunity to jot down and collect my ideas. I quickly realised I used to be a lot calmer spending time aside from Clive – we each had been – and so I started to spend increasingly more time there.
That’s once we each agreed we had been higher aside than along with the youngsters spending time in both house as they wished.
I by no means set out on the lookout for one other relationship. Rob [Davies] was a buddy that Clive and I had each identified for a very long time. He put collectively the farm web site and the digital side of the enterprise, all the things that we couldn’t do.
What he provided was dialog fairly than confrontation, and Clive knew about it from the very starting – he really steered Rob and I’d be a great match.
At that time, a couple of years in the past now, Clive was additionally seeing another person and was brazenly courting. It wasn’t a secret, everybody roundabout knew, even the youngsters.
However the influence of my and Rob’s relationship was far-reaching for everybody concerned. Rob and I had been each shattered by the best way the media pursued us and reported it, and in consequence Rob and I are now not collectively or in contact.
I haven’t spoken about this earlier than as a result of it was clear from the outset that the media had taken sides and, in talking out, I’d simply be including extra gasoline to the hearth.
I wished to guard the youngsters from any extra hurtful headlines, so I needed to chew my tongue and let the waters calm. I’m definitely not all for promoting my story.
There was numerous misinformation unfold about us, and I really feel it’s time to set issues straight. For a begin, Our Yorkshire Farm wasn’t axed by C5. We might have continued if we’d wished to, however we knew that our private scenario was altering.
When our marriage broke down, reporters would come proper as much as the home windows of the farmhouse, peering in, knocking on doorways. Taking images and leaving Put up-it notes caught to the door. Our distant hill farm ought to, in idea, have been the right place to cover away and let the mud settle, however for some time we had been below siege.
I’m conscious that it’s unattainable to have it each methods. That you may’t do a fly-on-the-wall TV sequence and write books about your life after which complain about media intrusion.
However there are limits and ultimately the scrutiny takes its toll. Notably when tales are one-sided or incorrect and end in vicious, relentless trolling. Criticism is an element and parcel of life and unavoidable, but when something we want extra kindness on this world.
The way in which I attempted to manage was by shutting everybody out and making an attempt to clear my thoughts, however in doing so, I gave myself an excessive amount of area to suppose. Typically my nervousness would get the higher of me. From having a cheery, optimistic outlook, I felt paranoid and indifferent. The youngsters wished to make me really feel higher, however I used to be exhausted and had little urge for food for all times in any respect.
It’s with the horses that I’ve been most capable of finding peace. Time spent using and caring for them has been invaluable and a type of remedy.
I can’t consider I’m really going to say this, however after all the things we’ve been by way of, Clive is the individual that I speak to now.
He’s my confidant and he’ll now take heed to my worries and I his.
Our strategy is to sort out severe topics with a healthy dose of humour. We’re separated, however wholly united in our goals for the way forward for the farm and the household. Now that we’ve got youngsters tearing round, it’s a joint effort to maintain any sort of order.
Clive is an effective father to the youngsters, and he works extraordinarily laborious. We’ve got undoubtedly grow to be higher at exhibiting appreciation for the work we every do. A lot so, that we’re now again working collectively on a model new TV sequence which follows our journey restoring a derelict farmhouse we’ve purchased and exploring its historical past.
We aren’t a pair any extra, however we are going to all the time be household, and this undertaking could be unattainable if it wasn’t a gaggle household effort.
There’s no confusion on our half concerning our amicable break up.
This type of relationship – the place dad and mom work collectively and ‘get on’ however are separated – will not be so
uncommon these days. So we’re proud to share our new actuality (in each sense of the phrase) on our subsequent household TV journey.
Clive’s story
When Amanda was first requested to be on TV, we had been each excited.
We agreed collectively that it might be a great way to assist assist the farm financially and share the realities of farming.
What I didn’t rely on was how standard the present would get, how a lot media curiosity there could be – and the way a lot of Amanda’s time could be taken up with selling the reveals, giving talks, e book signings and the like.
Amanda and I had carried out all the things on the farm collectively, struggled laborious by way of thick and skinny for 20 years after which, unexpectedly, it felt like that’s not the way it labored any extra. I felt I’d been left behind.
And I wasn’t keen to take heed to Amanda when she instructed me the motive she was doing it was to make sure we had a security web past the farm, a safe future for the youngsters.
If I’m trustworthy about it, I didn’t wish to settle for that I used to be now not the breadwinner for our household. It was particularly laborious understanding that Amanda, who’s a really stunning lady, could be going out all dressed as much as launches and occasions and assembly different individuals.
I wished to maintain her to myself and for her to not go away the farm. That’s actually when the connection began to go unhealthy, I suppose – about 5 years in the past.
I’m positive the age distinction was an element, and my insecurity about getting older meant I discovered fault in all the things she did.
I resented her success, together with the very fact she bought paid extra for speaking about sheep than I ever might farming sheep. I used to be jealous, and I used to be tough to take care of. It’s not straightforward to speak about and I’m not pleased with my behaviour again then. I used to be terrible to Amanda and, trying again, I believe that my very own despair had a component to play.
I used to be indignant and ingesting numerous whisky. It was my technique to cope, nevertheless it led to arguments, and as my behaviour bought worse, it was an excessive amount of for Amanda to bear.
Anger and resentment ate away at me. I do know she dreaded coming house as a result of she knew what was coming and that I’d begin a struggle.
We by no means managed to say how we had been feeling, all the things would escalate and blow up. There was numerous shouting. I can see now that I used to be being hypocritical by considering Amanda had left me behind with the success she had outdoors of the farm, as a result of in some respects, I had all the time put the farm earlier than her, so she was coming second to that.
It bought to the purpose the place she couldn’t stand the combating, the ingesting and all my detrimental feedback, so she went throughout the highway to our vacation let to get some area.
It’s not like everybody else’s model of leaving a wedding, as a result of she was on the farm the subsequent day and each day thereafter, taking care of the children, feeding us all, doing jobs on the farm – and she or he nonetheless is!
We had been aware that we didn’t wish to argue across the youngsters, however after all they had been conscious that we weren’t getting on.
We needed to discover a technique to make it doable for them. And that’s once we began to just accept that being aside could be simpler.
The 2 homes are strolling distance, so the children, now aged from eight to 23, go the place they wish to go. They do as they please, there’s no stress or animosity in regards to the set-up.
It’s actually good for them. Amanda is the best mom ever and the children love her to bits.
I’d like individuals to know that what triggered the break up between us wasn’t anybody else – it was the fixed combating. My anger drove Amanda away.
Wanting again on it I can see now that Amanda wanted somebody to speak to, somebody she might belief, and at that stage I wasn’t that individual.
Rob had all the time been a great buddy to us, and we’d identified him a very long time. They bought collectively at a degree once we had already separated so I wasn’t shocked or horrified, and it was by no means an affair in my thoughts as a result of I knew about it from the start.
I used to be seeing different individuals, too, and nobody got here after me with their cameras and their detrimental tales saying I used to be a house wrecker.
So it’s not proper accountable Amanda, as nobody might have tried more durable than she did to maintain our relationship going.
We take equal accountability for the farm and the household and equal accountability for separating – it was a joint determination.
I’m not seeing anyone now and neither is Amanda. We nonetheless work collectively and take care of the children, so we’ll all the time be in one another’s lives. Amanda and I get on rather well now. We’ve been restoring an outdated farmhouse collectively, which has been nice for us as a household.
Most of what the media has written about our relationship is nonsense as a result of they’ve not spoken to us about it till now.
The influence that the finger-pointing and false tales from the media has had on Amanda can’t be exaggerated.
I’m not overstating it once I say that the depth of the scrutiny she has been subjected to almost killed her.
When she was at her lowest level there have been nights the place, after cooking supper for all of us, she went house and I didn’t know if I’d see her within the morning.
The stress made her so unwell, she stopped consuming. She’s been bodily and mentally unwell and that’s due to the negativity within the media and the trolls. It’s been horrible to witness.
Seeing Amanda so close to the sting modified my focus. Now all I would like is to take care of her and assist her to get higher.
For each individual that’s been horrid to her, there are a thousand that love her. Letters come to the farm each day, actually transferring letters from individuals who say how she’s impressed them. She conjures up me, too.
It’s been powerful going by way of all of this within the public eye, and who is aware of what the subsequent chapter will maintain. However that’s the fantastic thing about life.
We’re survivors and, as Amanda mentioned to me the opposite day, ‘we’ll live on’.
